Title: Until Someone Gets Hurt

Author: danceswithgary (danceswithgary@yahoo.com)

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Spanking(very mild)

Spoilers:  S1 and part of S2, AU from when Helen leaves before engagement

Word Count: 5000

Archive: Fine, just let me know

Summary: When Clark discovers that Lex lied to him, it's time to take some action if they're going to save their friendship, and perhaps even more.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Lex had heard that particular aphorism more than once while growing up, but hadn't thought it would ever be apropos once he'd left the halls of Excelsior for the real world.

He knew better now.

"Ready?"

Lex didn't think he'd ever be ready, but he'd made his choice and would have to stick to it, no matter what. The prize was worth the cost. "Ready."

The sound was almost as shocking as the blow.

"One."

. . .

Walking back from the kitchen with the snacks they'd confiscated for a Friday night videogame and movie marathon, Clark looked down the echoing stone passage and laughed. "This place is so freaking huge, Lex. I don't understand how you don't get lost every day just trying to get from your office to your bedroom."

"It's a Luthor trait. We always know where we are and we always land on our feet...like cats."

"I bet it'd be a different story in the dark."

"I'd know any room in this castle, Clark, even if you led me into it blindfolded. It's called being observant and aware of your surroundings at all times."

"Blindfolded, hunh? Sounds like that could be fun."

. . .

If you'd asked Lex that morning if he thought he'd be ending his day playing silly-ass games with his best friend in the rooms and corridors of the castle, he'd have dismissed the idea. Then again, it would have been because he wouldn't have wanted to admit it wouldn't be the first time they'd made up their own amusements. One of his best Friday night memories was the time they'd used billiard balls, pool cues and Lionel's prized crystal to play a destructive game of hallway pool croquet.

"The armory." Three steps past the doorway and Lex had been able to identify the room by the smell of oiled metal and the echoing footsteps on the marble floor tiles.

Lex could hear the pout in Clark's voice. "Are you sure you can't see through that blindfold? Maybe using one of your silk ties wasn't such a good idea."

"I'm not cheating, Clark."

"I know what it is! You're counting steps. It doesn't matter if I spin you around; you're counting the steps to the room." Lex felt the heat of Clark's body recede as he let go of Lex's arm. "Wait here."

"Clark?" Lex couldn't hear anything in the spacious room except the beat of his own heart. Frowning, he was about to untie his makeshift blindfold when he heard a faint rumbling clack from outside the room. It grew louder until it was right behind him. He turned slowly with his arm outstretched to try to feel out what had just entered the room.

The warm hands that caught Lex's shoulders startled him, but he was quickly reassured by Clark's cheerful tone. "Now you won't be able to count steps." Clark pressed Lex down and backwards slowly. "Sit down. The chair's right behind you."

"Chair?"

"Yeah, I stole your desk chair from your office. You'll sit in it, I'll spin you around, and then I'll push you into a new room so you can try to guess which one it is. No counting steps."

Lex couldn't believe the lengths he was willing to go to in order to keep Clark amused, so he would stay and give Lex a taste of what he craved. "It's not guessing, Clark. I'll know which room it is when I enter it."

"We'll see. Oh, wait...I'll be seeing. You're not supposed to!"

Lex had discovered that rolling one's eyes under a blindfold was a little difficult. "Just spin the chair, Clark."

. . .

Frustrated at Lex's continued success, Clark peered down the long, dimly lit hallway, trying to decide on which untested room to try next. Spotting one almost to the end on the left, Clark nodded with determination and began spinning the chair around until Lex claimed that the next stop would be the nearest bathroom.

Pushing the chair at something just under super-speed, Clark stopped in front of the heavy wooden door and twisted the handle firmly, wincing at the resulting crunching sound that made it clear that  he should have asked for a key. Shrugging, he shoved the door open, wheeled Lex in, and came to an abrupt, breathless halt.

"Clark?" The buzz and high-pitched thrum of electronics left Lex with a sinking heart. There was only one room with that distinctive sound. The fact that Clark had just managed to push him through a locked door when Lex had the only key didn't matter. He tugged his impromptu blindfold free to see Clark standing in the center of the room. Lex surged to his feet in a rush, the chair rolling backwards with a muted rumble. "I...I can explain."

Rotating slowly in the center of the eerily lit, cavernous room, Clark catalogued a planetary system model, larger-than-life photographs of himself performing impossible feats, a looped simulation of a car crashing through a bridge. A specimen jar containing one of the cave parasites stood next to another simulation, this one showing an octagonal metal object rotating in space. The most damning display case held a collection of meteorites flashing red and green under artificial light.

As he completed his inspection and turned back to Lex, who was still standing frozen at the entrance of the room, the pain in Clark's face nearly drove Lex to his knees. "You told me you stopped investigating me!"

Dropping the tie without a moment's thought, Lex hurried to the distraught young man, his hands outstretched in supplication. "I did! Please, Clark, let me try to explain."

Avoiding Lex's touch with a step to the side, Clark shook his head violently. "How can you lie to me like that? Look at all of this! It's me plastered all over the walls, my life you have on display!"

Frustrated at Clark's refusal to listen, Lex snapped and shouted, "It's my life, too!" When Clark fell silent in shock at Lex's outburst, Lex continued, "Everything in here is related to my brushes with death since my arrival in Smallville, and they're all inexplicably linked to you." Lex stood there shaking with emotion, his eyes intense as they commanded Clark's attention. "I was looking for answers, trying to discover why I was still alive despite overwhelming odds against my survival."

Fists clenched as tightly as his jaw, Clark gritted out, "You lied to me, Lex. You said you stopped."

Lex gripped Clark's unyielding bicep and denied the charge emphatically. "I...did. There's nothing new added since that day. I just couldn't destroy what I already had." His voice dropped and he looked away from Clark's implacable gaze. "It would have been like losing...pieces of you...a part of you that I could claim as my own."

Twitching his arm free, Clark stepped back. "I don't understand how you could do this, Lex. How you could be so dishonest with me, with yourself."

Lex's head snapped back around and his lip lifted in a sneer. "Clark, can you really stand there and tell me you don't have any hidden places of your own where you keep your deepest, darkest secrets?"

Face stony, Clark stood motionless, studying Lex as he waited for judgment. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and pained. "Don't try to make this about me keeping my secrets safe when you have all this in a room after you promised to stop investigating. I made promises, too. I promised to stop lying to you and just tell you that I wasn't going to talk about it or answer questions. And that's what I've done. I kept my promise." A stiff arm came up and waved around the room. "What if your father saw this and decided to come after me or my parents? What gave you the right to place us in danger?"

An inarticulate sound and aborted movement forward were Lex's only response.

"I thought we were doing better after you stopped dating that doctor, Lex. I wanted to tell you so much about me." Two steps and Clark toppled a pedestal holding flattened pieces of metal that might have been bullets at one time. His voice rose to a shout as Lex flinched back. "How can I trust you with what I am and how I feel about you, if I can't even trust you to keep your word about something as important as this?" Clark's head dropped along with his voice as he walked away from Lex.

Stopping just inside the door, Clark turned and rasped out his final words, a tear glistening on one cheek in the eerie light of the room. "All you've ever wanted was my secrets, Lex. You could have had so much more. Now you only have your pieces of me. I hope they'll be enough." He shook his head and then he was gone, leaving Lex alone in the room with the humming, buzzing equipment.

Lex looked around at his trophies, his face contorted with self-loathing. Lunging forward, he picked up the desk chair, and with a strength born out of rage, he hurled it through the largest plasma screen that was flashing through candid photographs of Clark Kent. The screen exploded in a shower of sparks and one of the chair's arms dangled, the remainder of the chair firmly embedded in its target. Yanking the wooden arm free, Lex used it as a club and methodically began to demolish each exhibit, shouting, few words comprehensible between gasps and cries of gut-wrenching anguish.

Lex ignored the cuts he received from flying glass as well as the blood that made his makeshift weapon slippery in his grip, the splintered ends gouging the tender skin of his palms. All he could see was a red haze of destruction, never realizing the flickering was due to rising flames. Just as the sprinkler system activated, someone seized him from behind, disarming him with ease. Furious at the interruption, he kicked and flailed against an immovable presence, his hoarse shouts incoherent.

Exhausted, his struggles becoming weaker along with his cries, Lex finally began to make out the steady stream of soothing words being murmured into his ear by the same person who held him so tightly. "Lex, stop. Please, calm down. It's me, Lex, it's just me. It's Clark. Please stop fighting me, Lex."

Drenched with sweat and the slowing spray of the sprinklers, Lex sagged in Clark's arms. "Clark?" His voice was almost nonexistent, as thoroughly damaged as the contents of the room. "You came back. I thought I'd lost you."

Lex thought the kiss to the side of his head was a hallucination brought on by lack of oxygen, but the low, distressed voice informed him otherwise. "I thought you had, too. My brain declared our friendship was over, but somehow forgot to tell my heart to stop loving you." Another nuzzling kiss sent a shudder of relief through Lex's body. "I'm sorry I didn't make it back sooner. Looks like I missed a hell of a coming-out party for the newest Incredible Hulk."

Twisting inside the cage of Clark's arms, Lex was finally able to turn and face his friend. He rasped out the apology he knew he should have made earlier instead of hurling accusations. "I'm sorry, Clark. I was wrong." His forehead dropped to Clark's shoulder as shouts and pounding feet began to approach along the hallway. "Great, now I have to deal with the fire department and my security." He straightened up and pulled himself out of Clark's arms just as the first person entered. Already missing the warmth and reassurance of that touch, he flashed a pleading look at Clark and whispered, "Please don't leave me."

Clark shook his head and whispered back, "I won't. I'm afraid the castle will end up in ruins and you'll be homeless."

Grateful for the flashes of humor from Clark, Lex advanced and met the people who had responded to the fire alarm and quickly assured them that it had been an accident and the fire was out, and that he wasn't hurt badly and his friend would take care of him. Within thirty minutes, the crowd had dispersed and silence reigned once again.

"I think it's time we got cleaned up and then talked, don't you?"

Lex nodded without turning around and preceded Clark upstairs, knowing that Clark's backpack had been deposited in one of the guest rooms earlier that evening.  It wasn't exactly the overnight stay originally planned for when Clark's parents were out of town, but at this point, Lex was just happy that Clark hadn't left.

As he climbed, Lex hoped that their upcoming talk wouldn't change Clark's mind about the feelings he'd confessed to having for Lex. He wasn't sure his heart and mind could take losing Clark twice in one night.

. . .

The cuts had stopped bleeding, although the water stung them as it beat down unmercifully from the showerhead. Lex knew he was running out of reasons to delay his return to the bedroom suite where Clark was supposed to meet him. He was clean, he was warm...and he was being a coward. Shutting off the water, he grabbed a towel, scrubbed himself dry with no regard for tender, damaged skin, and then scrambled into the clothes that had mysteriously appeared on the vanity, while he'd been oblivious to anything but the pounding spray and the mocking voice in his head.

Stopping to look in the mirror before he opened the door, Lex spared himself a rueful smile. The dark blue and gray flannel bottoms topped with the red tee shirt, both worn soft and faded with age, were an unsubtle declaration of ownership and equality. Clark had carefully selected them from beneath the stacks of silk and Egyptian cotton pajamas in Lex's drawers to match his own casual sleeping attire, and Lex understood what Clark was saying and accepted it gratefully. Gathering his courage, he opened the door and stepped out, ready for judgment.

Walking out into the dimly lit room left Lex temporarily blind, forcing him to wait for his eyes to adjust. He heard the snap of the light switch and the light flooding in from the bright bathroom was gone. Lex whirled, thinking Clark was behind him, but he saw nothing but an afterimage, a mirage in the near darkness. "Clark?"

A low voice from the shadows across the room answered him with a simple, "Yes."

"Why...why are all the lights off? I mean...except for those candles." Lex was disturbed at how rattled he felt, how out of control. "I can't see you."

"Do you really need to, Lex? Haven't you memorized my face by now?"

"I thought we were going to talk."

The soft, bitter whisper next to Lex's ear made him jump. "We are talking, Lex. Our mouths are opening and words are coming out."

Thrusting his arm out, Lex felt nothing. He was standing alone in the dark again. "You sound upset, Clark."

In the opposite corner of the room, a shattered laugh preceded cutting words. "I'm not supposed to be angry about how you treated me, Lex? Like a specimen to be studied under a microscope?"

Denial exploded from Lex. "No! It was never like that! I...I wanted to feel closer to you, to understand you." His head dropped to his chest and his eyelids shut out any remaining light. "I wanted to know you better...because I love you."

The large hands that came down on his shoulders, squeezing to the point of pain, startled a gasp from Lex. He could feel Clark's breath warming his face as he brought it up, opening his eyes wide to snare any available light. He flinched away from the damning words delivered in a rasp. "If you love someone, Lex, you don't put them or their family or their friends in danger."

"I didn't...."

"You did, Lex. Every piece of information you collected on me, everything you learned in an attempt to understand me, could be used against us if it got into the wrong hands. Even if I left Smallville today, the minute the wrong people found out what I am and where I came from, you'd all be in danger, even you."

"Leave?"

"Sure, go into hiding and spend the rest of my life alone. Hell, I've thought about just giving up, turning myself in, and letting them do their worst. Cut me open, perform their tests, take me apart into little pieces they can display in jars. It would be over, all the lies and the secrets, always letting my friends down, and disappointing my parents...and you."

Twisting free from Clark's hands, Lex flung himself forward, his forehead knocking against Clark's chin as he wrapped his arms around Clark's unyielding body. "No, you can't!"

Clark's arms hung motionless at his sides as he let Lex hug him without offering the same. Lex could feel the disgusted huff across his scalp and the scrape of Clark's stubble as he shook his head. "You're right, Lex, I can't. Do you understand why? It's because you'd all end up on the tables next to me while the scientists tried to figure out whether you'd been contaminated by me, maybe even changed into something like me."

Lex's head lifted away from Clark's chest long enough to ask, "Something...?"

"Of course, Lex. And what scientist wouldn't fight to be on the team who vivisected the only...."

Muffled beneath Lex's frantic mouth, the rest of Clark's words were swallowed, unheard. The only sounds were Lex's protests between kisses. "No, don't say it. Don't tell me. I'm sorry, Clark. Don't...please, don't say any more." His hands had come up to hold Clark's face still and he could feel the film of tears on the cheeks under his thumbs. "Never again, Clark. I won't...please forgive me."

Suddenly, Lex felt himself being pushed away and left standing there, chilled by the absence of Clark's warm body. A sharp laugh sounded from across the dark room. "I believed you the last time, when you said you'd stop. I may have been raised on a farm, Lex. That doesn't make me stupid." A sob broke loose and Lex stumbled forward at the sound. "That wasn't how I imagined our first kiss would be. Somehow, I suspected it might be how our last one would feel."

Feeling his way along the wall, Lex finally located the light switch for the lamps by the bed. A flick and he was blinking away tears from the sudden brightness, trying to find Clark in the room. Huddled in the furthest corner, Clark's shoulders shook silently, his arms wrapped around his drawn-up knees and hiding his face. Hurrying to him, Lex dropped to his own knees and extended an unsteady hand to comb through damp curls. "Clark, how do I fix this? Please, I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do."

Raising his tear-stained face, Clark shook his head. "You're asking me, Lex? I...I don't have a clue what to do next. I get so angry with you, with what you've done, and that's dangerous. One minute I think I can handle it and you, and I'm strong enough. The next minute, you're tearing me apart and I feel...completely helpless." He wiped his face off on a sleeve of his shirt and started to get up. "I should just leave. This...this was a bad idea."

Convinced that if Clark left he would never come back, Lex threw himself forward and pinned Clark against the wall, clambering into his lap while he sat there, startled. Grabbing Clark's hand between his own trembling hands, Lex forced Clark to look into his eyes. Pleading in a low, desperate voice, Lex held Clark's green eyes mesmerized. "No, you can't leave until this is settled! We have to fix it. I can't lose you, Clark. Please, don't give up on me."

Closing his eyes after a long silence, Clark shook his head slowly. "I...can't trust you anymore, Lex."

"You said you loved me!"

Resting his forehead against Lex's shoulder, Clark groaned, "I do. That's why this is ripping me apart. I can't take this anymore, always holding back, never taking what I want...and now it's too late. It's over before it even started."

Cradling Clark's head to his chest, Lex rocked back and forth in his lap, his voice strained, intense. "No, I won't let it be over, Clark. I've wanted you for so long, but I was afraid I'd ruin what we had. There has to be something I can do to prove myself to you...that we're both worth trying to make it work." They were quiet for a few minutes, soaking up each other's heat and presence, afraid to break the fragile peace.

"Are people irredeemable, Clark? If they do something wrong, should they suffer for it for the rest of their lives?" Clark jerked at Lex's unexpectedly harsh questions, bringing his head up to look into Lex's face with a frown. Lex continued, "How do people go about paying for their crime and earning forgiveness?"

Clark studied Lex's face, realizing his answer was important. "Depending on the crime, I guess they go to jail, or perform community service, and get rehabilitated." He shook his head, a furrow between his dark brows. "It's not the same, Lex. It's not as if I can go to the sheriff and press charges against you. I wouldn't want to, even if I could."

"You could punish me. You could do whatever you wanted to me until you thought I'd learned my lesson, and then you could forgive me and give me another chance."

"You want me to lock you up?"

When the vision of being handcuffed to the bed while Clark did whatever he wanted flashed through Lex's mind, he found it increasingly difficult to ignore their current positions and Clark's proximity to certain very sensitive portions of his anatomy. He carefully eased back to place a few vital inches between them. "That's not the only way to punish people."

"I don't understand."

"What did your parents do when you misbehaved?"

"I...they took away my favorite toy? They grounded me that one time, for that party." Lex was encouraged by Clark's quiet chuckle. "Somehow I don't see that working for you, Lex. What am I going to do, take away your favorite car? Tell you that you can't go out after work for a month?"

"What about Pete? What did his parents do?"

Clark thought for a moment, and then half-grinned at a memory. "There was that one time his mom broke a wooden spoon across his butt. He was complaining for days that it hurt to sit down. He never even thought about shoplifting anything from Fordman's after that."

"So he learned his lesson...."

Clark's eyes widened as he began to comprehend which direction Lex was taking the discussion. He grasped Lex around the waist and tried to lift him carefully off his lap while Lex continued to hold on to Clark with all his strength, even linking his feet behind Clark's back. Clark finally had to stop so that he wouldn't hurt Lex. "I couldn't do that, Lex! I couldn't hurt you, not on purpose!"

Sliding his hands deep into the dense curls that had always tempted him, Lex forced Clark to look at him again. "If you leave, if you give up on me, it will hurt me forever. That pain will change me, Clark, and it won't be a change for the better. You...help me to see a better way to be, Clark. Please don't take that away." Lex's voice broke, raw with emotion. "I need you so much...."

With a sigh, Clark closed his eyes and nodded his head. "All right, Lex. We'll try it your way." His voice sounded tired and defeated, and Lex's heart clenched at the sorrow on his beautiful face.

Lex leaned forward, placed a soft kiss in the center of Clark's furrowed brow, and whispered, "We'll make it work. I love you."

"How do we do this?" Now that the decision had been made, Clark was determined to finish as quickly as possible.

Lex shrugged. "I could stand braced against the wall or a piece of furniture."

Clark thought of the potential power behind one of his blows, wincing as he envisioned the snap of bones and dislocated joints if Lex were to be caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. "No, I don't think...."

Lex blurted out, "The traditional method is lying across someone's lap. I mean...I would be on your lap."

"It would have to be my hand. I'm still not sure about this, Lex. I could hurt you badly." Clark ducked his head, his cheeks flushing as he confessed, "I'm...really strong."

"I know. I trust you, Clark."

Lex reluctantly let Clark go and stood, offering a hand up, which Clark ignored as he rose from the floor without any effort. Any arousal Lex might have felt earlier at being close to Clark had disappeared when he saw how distressed Clark was. Now his only concern was to help Clark get through this so that they could move forward and repair the cracks in their friendship. Only after that was solid would they stand a chance at something more.

Nodding, Lex led Clark over to one of the armchairs by the fireplace and waited for Clark to sit down.

Clark looked up at Lex, his eyes bleak as his hands rubbed his thighs nervously. "How...how many?"

"You need to decide, Clark. Remember, you're the one punishing me. As many as it takes you to forgive me and decide that I've learned my lesson. Okay?"

An abrupt nod and Clark moved his hands out of the way so that Lex could position himself across the strong thighs he'd dreamed about so many nights. As he squirmed to get as comfortable as possible, making sure to position his genitals so that they would not be accidentally pinched or crushed, Lex faced the floor and balanced himself with his palms just touching the rug.

"Ready?"

Lex didn't think he'd ever be ready, but he'd made his choice and would have to stick to it, no matter what. The prize was worth the cost. "Ready."

The sound was almost as shocking as the blow.

"One."

The force slammed him hard against Clark's legs, the result was a surprised yelp, followed by a gasp. Clark immediately began to babble, asking Lex if he was all right and if Clark had hurt him badly. Having caught his breath, Lex resisted being picked up and restored to his feet, insisting that he was fine and reminding Clark that being hurt was the purpose of the exercise.

"I can't do this. I'm...worried that I won't be able to tell, Lex. What if I really...."

"Pull down my pants."

"What!"

"Pull down my pants so you can see if you're causing any serious damage."

Lex could feel Clark's thigh muscles quivering under his belly, and he flicked a glance over his shoulder at Clark's face. The anguish carving deep lines in his beautiful features took Lex's breath away, and he scrambled to his feet just long enough to allow him to crawl back into Clark's lap, straddling his legs. Clark's hands had frozen in midair and Lex coaxed them around his waist, tucking Clark's head under his chin and crooning wordlessly.

The hoarse whisper tore at Lex. "I can't do it. Please don't make me, Lex."

"You don't have to do this, Clark. I'm sorry. We'll think of something else, okay? Just don't leave me, please don't leave me."

"I want to touch you, kiss you, but not like this. It's all wrong."

Lex held Clark close, apologizing for the younger man's broken dream of first times colored by love, not tainted by pain. "I know, Clark. It's okay. We'll make it better."

Clark's arms tightened around Lex before he rose from the chair, carrying Lex over to the bed with no discernible effort. Yanking back the bedclothes, he laid Lex down tenderly and began to pull the sheets and blankets back up to cover him, flicking off the lights using the switch by the bed. Catching his hand, Lex tugged gently as he shifted toward the center of the king-size bed. "Don't leave me."

"Lex, I can't do this tonight."

"Sleep with me, Clark, just sleep. Hold me and let me hold you, nothing else. Nothing you don't want... I need you. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Giving in, Clark crawled onto the bed and slid under the covers. He lay there stiffly, unmoving, until Lex rolled over and deliberately pressed his back into Clark's ribs. With a choked sound, Clark turned on his side and gathered Lex into his arms, curling around him, knees tucked behind knees, pressed together from neck to hip. The words muffled against Lex's shoulder were still clear enough for him to hear. "I love you, Lex. I forgive you."

Restraining the urge to roll over and kiss Clark until he lost control and touched Lex the way he'd dreamed of for so many nights, Lex merely snuggled a little deeper into Clark's arms and whispered back, "Thank you, Clark. I love you, too."

Lex knew it was only the first step in a long journey back, but at least that step had been taken and they had a chance. He stared at the last guttering candle across the room, and smiled as he heard Clark's breathing even out into sleep.

They'd had enough pain in their lives.

Time and love would close the wounds they'd carved into each other, and they would heal.

He closed his eyes and waited patiently for the sun.

***

Notes: Written for 2007 undermistletoe. Prompt: Exhibitionism or Blindfold. Combined with harlequin_sv prize prompt from allzugern – Clark spanks Lex. Sorry, allzugern, it's probably not what you expected, but that happens sometimes with my stories, the p0rn goes on vacation in another hemisphere. Many thanks to the infinitely patient jakrar or a last-minute beta. Any remaining mistakes are one hundred percent mine because I rushed her, again.

Standard Disclaimer:  I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and DC Comics. Gough/Millar Inc and the WB Network TV own Smallville. Any deviations (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.

Feedback is both welcome and appreciated.

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