Title:  The Next Time

Author: danceswithgary (danceswithgary@yahoo.com)

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Spoilers:  None

Word Count: 470

Archive: Fine, just let me know

Summary:  "The two of you just wanted to keep me at home, barefoot and pregnant."

"Lex!"

"I'm in here, Clark."

"The least you could do is get up from that desk and come in here. Fine...."

"I'm right in the middle of something.... Oh, I see what you mean."

"How am I supposed to go out looking like this? Spandex hides nothing!"

"I've certainly had occasion to appreciate that in the past."

"Exactly. The past. I'm fat!"

"I'd call it pleasingly plump, myself."

"I'm tempted to strap a ten-pound bag of flour in front of you, stuff you into your tightest suit, and then ask you to repeat that particular piece of stupidity."

"Feeling a little cranky today, Clark?"

"Today, yesterday, the day before. I predict tomorrow, the day after that and many days to come. Welcome to hell, Lex. Pull up a chair and start frying."

"Wait a minute, you're acting like this is all my fault."

"It is! Well, you and that damn AI. I go off on one little off-world mission and the next thing I know, you're plotting together."

"I wouldn't call it plotting, necessarily."

"The two of you just wanted to keep me at home, barefoot and pregnant."

"Considering how hard it is to find shoes in your size...."

"It's not my fault they're swollen!"

"I'll rub your feet later. That always makes you feel better."

"Nothing is going to make this better. Did you look at this diagram!"

"It is highly detailed. The AI is very efficient."

"Look where it's going to come out!"

"He. The tests show it's a son. Our son."

"Who's going to come out...there!"

"Careful, Clark, you're going to poke a hole in the display."

"You're damn lucky I haven't poked a hole in you."

"Well, at least not with your finger lately. Come to think of it, not with anything else either."

"Like I'm going to let you get anywhere near me with that thing. It's loaded, and obviously not with blanks."

"Horse. Barn door. Any of that sound familiar from those lazy days back on the farm?"

"Right, like I'm going to fall for that one. For all I know, the AI came up with a way to store them somewhere so the minute I pop one baby out, another one starts."

"Hmmm. Let me just make a note...."

"Excuse me while I destroy your computer."

"You probably don't want to do that, Clark."

"Why not?

"Remember that detailed diagram? Wouldn't want to lose the instructions now, would we?"

"I hate you."

"And I love you and my baby. How about some ice cream?"

"With chocolate sauce?"

"As much as you want. Anywhere you want."

"Fine. Just keep in mind that you're not the only one who can work with the AI."

"Your point?"

"You may want to learn how to sleep with one eye open. The next time, it's going to be you."

fin

Notes:  Challenge: CLFF24: For your story, either Lex or Clark must get pregnant by the other or both. How far you wish to develop the story is up to you. For your challenge, use one of the following lines in your story, anywhere. Line: Excuse me while I destroy your computer. Many thanks to jakrar for her beta work. The remaining mistakes are all mine.

Standard Disclaimer:  I do not own any of the characters herein. The characters of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent as well as any supporting characters are the property of their creators and DC Comics. Gough/Millar Inc and the WB Network TV own Smallville. Any deviations (or deviant behavior) from the originals, however, is mine.

Feedback is both welcome and appreciated.

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